Oct 22 2010

Curse of The Unavailable Man (A Knight To Forget!)

Ever feel like a damsel in distress lying in wait for your knight only for him to be too busy shining his armor? Have I got some tips for all of you choosing unavailable men…

It must be the most consistent trait I see in virtually every woman I have counseled; choosing Sir Lacks-a-lot!

(As you’ll soon see, this phenomenon equally applies to many of my gay friends)

It’s as if there’s some kind of medieval dormant gene in your psyche that summons forth the Barren Knight to awaken. Of course, you don’t see this most elusive hidden quality in yourselves, let alone your suitors, but you’ll agree that it’s a self-defeating pattern that always ends in tears.

Let’s understand this nasty ancient curse.

An honest fair maiden eagerly awaits her soul mate to sweep her off her feet and over the threshold, only to discover that her knight is merely passing through, en route to his next joust. So many gauntlets… but few hands that fit. You would have thought that his iron-clad armor was enough of a clue that he wouldn’t be too inwardly mobile.

By that I mean that unavailable men do not introspect! For in order for them to look inside themselves, they would have to ask for assistance to remove their armor and therein lies the root of your curse…

There are essential clues that you need to recognize in an unavailable man.

First and foremost, there is a reason he wears an iron suit. Nothing is getting through that wall, least of all you! ‘Tis brave a man who can remove his mask and look deep within his soul’s yearning. Um, sorry that is not your man.

You will also recognize him by his frugality of purse (he’s cheap!) and it’s no consolation seeing his generous potential if it will take him a lifetime to spend it. Remember… generous of heart, plentiful in love; benevolent in spirit, abundant in his spiritual growth. But, iron clad in his proclamations, ample chagrin for a damsel’s needs.

More clues…

Pay attention to the way he talks about women, all women. Mothers, sisters, ex-wives, bosses, girlfriends, co-workers, the lot. He will soon be talking about you the same way. How might that sound?

Getting dismayed yet?

Then there’s the matter of manners. Does he have a code of honor he lives by? Does he open your doors, pull out your chair, walk behind you and return your calls promptly? Well, 3 out of 4 ‘aint bad!

There is another way to choose your man wisely. Check the quality of his raw materials! That may sound vulgar, but I’m referring to his core qualities and values that make him the man he is.

You wouldn’t build your dream home from rotten wood, cracked beams and flimsy tiles, so why settle for less than ‘Grade A’ quality man stuff! You need to see that his integrity is consistent, that his deeds match his words, his honor lies in tact and his reputation is first class among his peers.

Never met his fellow knights and elders or notice he’s become distant and aloof? Sure, give him his SPACE so he can work through how much he loves you,  just not that in love with you! (Brutal)

If you’re honest with your ‘man choice’, how much of these qualities did you check before you plunged into commitment escrow?

Be not dismayed and have faith in this… In every curse there lies a blessing.

An opportunity to look deep into your soul, and ask earnestly if it is the knight who disappoints, or the maiden who deceives herself?

Who is cursed… the rusty knight or the damsel distressed?

Will this riddle be solved by he who pursues or who peruses the clues?

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Curse of The Unavailable Man (A Knight To Forget!) by Jamie Greene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

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Dec 3 2009

A Glimpse

All it takes is a momentary vision for entire new frontiers to unfold before us. An instant captured, a glimpse.

This is all available. It has been for millennia. But you cannot go it alone. You must be invited, courted, guided.

I found such a guide and in the coming weeks, I will share my journeys with you.

There are days when all we see is what we know. Trapped in one-dimensional thinking, we cannot reach beyond our stretch, nor feel beneath our sensory cave. On these days, I ask for more.

This is what I heard…

A journey is a glimpse into what could be. The “work” is experiencing the reality where we can actually live it.

These are the poignant words of wisdom I recently received in guidance, as I diligently forged ahead through the Amazon of my over-intellectualized mind. How refreshing to know that there is another way to see, another way to think and another way to be. But, we can only get there through image-making.

It’s probably why we are all so obsessed with movies that make us cry, scream and leap out of our seats. The images on the screen give us hope and excitement and carry us far from the mundane confines of the cineplex walls.

I want to travel. I want to see vistas with no fees, reservations or placards. No backpack. No duffel or carry-on.

Just a pathway and a clearing and an open ticket to journey. Like the wardrobe in Narnia, I want to step through a portal into a world where the natives aren’t restless, the weather is temperate and the vines guide and twist their arms in embrace.

The first lesson brought a simple message that touched a nerve buried inside me… a deep need to belong.

We are all driven by a need for belonging. It’s only when we step outside the group that we begin to recognize the well traveled path of a soul searcher.

Remember, this is the purpose of this web site: For me to serve as a personal guide for those of you whose previous pathways have led you to dead ends and dismay.

The journey is the reward. We will walk it together. I welcome your comments and questions.

Pack ‘em up, move ‘em out…

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A Glimpse by Jamie Greene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

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Sep 8 2009

The Money Shot

When editing the movie of your life, it’s much more costly to ‘fix it in post’…
Take the time to go through the tedium of getting the right shot up front
So many of us tend to seek help after the fact. We dispatch emergency teams within moments to put out fires, although it takes months to build fire roads and install sprinkler systems. We marvel that the wedding party seemed to last 5 minutes, yet the planning was the most stressful 6 months imaginable. It took years to build the twin towers and we all watched in horror as they fell to ground zero in seconds.
And so it is with life…
There is an inherent tediousness in acquiring experience, seniority, mastery, graduate degrees, internships and apprenticeships. It takes so much of our time, investment, college funds, student loans, sleepless Red Bull nights, manic episodes and tears of frustration. The failed tests, haunting grades, fluctuating GPA’s, dropped classes, psychotic room mates, lecherous professors, unstable supervisors and evil-eyed co-workers.
It all makes up the grand tapestry of ‘paying our dues’. And boy, do we pay!
I was meeting with one of my more eclectic clients over breakfast as he expressed his ambitious plans for the coming year. I couldn’t help but feel we were caught in one of those surreal movie moments where he’s pitching me the story of his vision for his next movie, “My Aspiring Life” and all I kept wondering was who was going to play the part of the screenwriter who has no script, nor crew or locations, no supporting cast, not even a budding extra jumping up and down in the crowd shot looking to earn his SAG card!
All he came with was a hugely exuberant pitch with a massive budget and grand ideas for distribution. Here’s where Mr Voice of Reason kicks in… But, how are you going to manage achieving these lofty goals for your company with no game plan or structure in place for you to succeed this year? “Oh don’t worry about that” he said, “I’m so excited about my ideas and I know I can get my investors to sign off this time. They really believe in me and trust my wisdom.” Well, let’s say they certainly invested in him that year, to the tune of $200,000 gone awry within 4 months of his spirited pitch. And his script was never turned in, nor a casting session ever held. Quite sad.
For my illustrious client and for many of you reading this, you might relate to these kinds of impulsive schemes to just get things going and worry about the particulars later. We have an abhorrence to the tedium of planning, preparing and plotting in advance of our exciting big plans. Who wants to sit for hours creating budgets and flow-charts or practicing backhand strokes with a ball-hopper when there’s endorphins and the promise of profits, trophies and acclaim beckoning.
Indeed, banal attempts to fix those reality-crushing complications as they unfold are fraught with tail-chasing circuitry and adrenal-draining deflation.
We just may simply lack the discipline and patience that is often necessary to achieve mastery and success. I have noticed like with virtually every one of my clients and students over the years that none of us enjoy being a novice. We want to be masterful. We want to be the expert witness, not serve mandatory jury duty. We want to be an old soul, not a newbie who’s never been around the block. We want tenure, not hazing; respect, not empathy; honor, not momentary attention.
Are we there yet?
Unfortunately, there’s just no substitute for hard work, due diligence and a little ‘elbow grease’ as my Nana Dora would say. We learn in time that a penny saved is a dollar earned. It won’t get you rich quick but it will build a nice modest nest egg.
So take the time to get all your ducks in a row and earn your restful sleep, knowing that the taxes are accounted for, the budget has been met, the kids’ lunch box is filled and the cable bill has been paid.
CUT… PRINT!

When editing the movie of your life, it’s much more costly to ‘fix it in post’… Take the time to go through the tedium of getting the right shot up front.

c

So many of us tend to seek help after the fact. We dispatch emergency teams within moments to put out fires, although it takes months to build fire roads and install sprinkler systems. We marvel that the wedding party seemed to last 5 minutes, yet the planning was the most stressful 6 months imaginable. It took years to build the twin towers and we all watched in horror as they fell to ground zero in seconds.

And so it is with life…

There is an inherent tediousness in acquiring experience, seniority, mastery, graduate degrees, internships and apprenticeships. It takes so much of our time, investment, college funds, student loans, sleepless Red Bull nights, manic episodes and tears of frustration. The failed tests, haunting grades, fluctuating GPA’s, dropped classes, psychotic room mates, lecherous professors, unstable supervisors and evil-eyed co-workers.

Paying Our Dues.

I was meeting with one of my more eclectic clients over breakfast as he expressed his ambitious plans for the coming year. I couldn’t help but feel we were caught in one of those surreal movie moments where he’s pitching me the story of his vision for his next movie, “My Aspiring Life” and all I kept wondering was who was going to play the part of the screenwriter who has no script, nor crew or locations, no supporting cast, not even a budding extra jumping up and down in the crowd shot looking to earn his SAG card!

All he came with was a hugely exuberant pitch, a massive budget and grand ideas for distribution. So, naturally my Voice of Reason kicked in… But, how are you going to manage achieving these lofty goals for your company with no game plan or structure in place for you to succeed this year?

“Oh don’t worry about that” he said, “I’m so excited about my ideas and I know I can get my investors to sign off this time. They really believe in me and trust my wisdom.” Well, let’s say they certainly invested in him that year, to the tune of $200,000 gone awry within 4 months of his spirited pitch. And his script was never turned in, nor a casting session ever held. Quite tragic.

For my illustrious client and for many of you reading this, you might relate to these kinds of impulsive schemes to just get things going and worry about the particulars later.

We have an abhorrence to the tedium of planning, preparing and plotting in advance of our exciting big plans. Who wants to sit for hours creating budgets and flow-charts or practicing backhand strokes with a ball-hopper when there’s endorphins and the promise of profits, trophies and acclaim beckoning.

Indeed, banal attempts to fix those reality-crushing complications as they unfold are fraught with tail-chasing circuitry and adrenal-draining deflation.

We just may simply lack the discipline and patience that is often necessary to achieve mastery and success. I have noticed like with virtually every one of my clients and students over the years that none of us enjoy being a novice. We want to be masterful. We want to be the expert witness, not serve mandatory jury duty. We want to be an old soul, not a newbie who’s never been around the block. We want tenure, not hazing; respect, not empathy; honor, not momentary attention.

Are we there yet?

Unfortunately, there’s just no substitute for hard work, due diligence and a little ‘elbow grease’ as my dad would say. We learn in time that a penny saved is a dollar earned. It won’t get you rich quick but it will build a nice modest nest egg.

So take the time to get all your ducks in a row and earn your restful sleep, knowing that the taxes are accounted for, the budget has been met, the kids’ lunch box is filled and the cable bill has been paid.

CUT… PRINT!

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The Money Shot by Jamie Greene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

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Sep 7 2009

Elusive, Moi?

Knock, knock… who’s there?

Ever get that feeling that nobody’s home?
A room filled with neighbors, but you’re all alone.
The couch is a sleeper, yet you’re wide awake,
The crust has been crumbled with nothing to bake.
The fridge door is open, the freezer ajar,
Your hunger for comfort so near, yet so far.
The browser is searching and spinning its globe,
So you patiently wait with such promise and hope.
When you land on the home page you’re having a hunch,
That the lights are still on but they’re all out to lunch.
You search for the words to get over the hump,
Thesaurus and Oxford… totally stumped.
If there’s nowhere to turn, a blank mirror ahead,
Do you blame and cajole or own it instead?
The reflection revealed may taunt and provoke,
Can it possibly be that I am the bloke
Who left on the lights and the doors all ajar?
What are you saying…
Elusive, moi?

Creative Commons License
Elusive, Moi? by Jamie Greene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

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