Jamie Greene

If you were ever to find yourself at the cliff’s edge on a foggy day, so thick you could barely see your hand in front of your face, and you realized that your next step would plunge you on to the rocks below – and in the next instant the fog cleared… wouldn’t you instantly know what action to take?

Maybe you’ve become confused or disenchanted by the empty promises of spiritual pathways, eager to change your life circumstance, plagued by fear and regret of missed opportunities or at a crossroads in your life and unsure which fork to take.

As your personal coach, I am available to do one-on-one private sessions and serve as your personal guide to help you make courageous decisions and changes in your life.

When the fog clears, we see vistas and landscapes that purge any fear, doubt, confusion or hesitation

If you feel the fog closing in around you and you’re ready to move away from the cliff’s edge, I honor you for your bravery to open your heart and mind to the landscape about to be revealed to you.

Remember, it was there all along… cloaked in fog.

Off The Couch Consulting, Inc.

To set up a one-on-one private coaching session in person or by phone, please contact me at: jamie@jamiegreene.la

You can also leave me a confidential voice message on (310) 906 0116

Clearing The Fog by Jamie Greene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

I recently had the privilege of teaching undergraduate scholarship students at USC in one of my flagship coaching courses known as “Mastering The Competitive Edge”.

Through generous donations made by the Latino Alumni Association (LAA) of USC, many of these young Latinos have been given the opportunity to become the first generation in their families to attend University and become true leaders in their communities.

Of the thousands of students I’ve been blessed to facilitate over the years, these scholars touched me with their self-awareness, ambition, humility and desire to make a real difference.

My mission was to prepare them for life beyond academics, fraternity rushing and Trojan rallies. To provide them with life skills and augment their tool kits, so they’d be ready to tackle the workforce by storm. My sense is that if there is to be a demographic to defy the statistics of unemployment and reduce the 1 trillion dollars in outstanding student loans in the US, this would be them!

Close To The Edge…

Initiators
One of the key principles of leadership that we all need to be reminded of is taking initiative. In the spirit of connecting to our competitive edge, Initiators know what they want and how to recognize opportunities to achieve it. They push themselves into action the moment their mind is made up! Don’t delay - it only takes the smallest crack of self-doubt to create a massive crevice of indecision and malaise.

Risk-Takers
Initiators know the importance of being willing to make mistakes and keep moving. It’s not that they don’t have fears, they just keep moving! The willingness to risk is always knowing there is another challenge around the corner.

What is the cost of not risking?
There’s a simple adage; wherever you go, there you are! If you don’t want your next year to look and feel the way your life does today, then step up and create an action plan for change.

Here is a reminder of the 4 simple steps to create change:

1. Write down an action step you are committed to and connect with a friend/partner you will be accountable to.

2. Write down every excuse – all the stuff you know you’ll allow to get in the way from taking action when push comes to shove.

3. Find a way to dismiss each excuse by finding a solution to overcome it.

4. Don’t leave yourself any reasons to quit.

 Knock, Knock…

Opportunists
Opportunity doesn’t come to the door knocking… you’ve got to go out and knock on doors yourself to make your dreams happen!

This is where my Latino scholars come in. These inspiring souls recognized their own potential and took stock in their assets, talents and resources. We can all follow their example of appreciating our unique gifts or services and tap into those “unreached” clients and customers who crave what we have to offer.

Remember, they can’t find you if you don’t go looking for them…

Knock loudly; you better make sure they can hear you over their celebrations that you finally stepped up!

Opportunity Knocks by Jamie Greene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Personal development is like being under construction; make sure to warn your friends and loved ones that debris will be falling!

I remember seeing those apartment buildings in the San Fernando Valley surrounded by wire fences following the aftermath of the 1994 Northridge earthquake, thinking it was such a powerful metaphor for the process we tend to undergo in therapy and coaching.

The shaken tenants had to endure the discomfort and inconvenience of being relocated during retrofitting and reconstruction, in much the same way as we go through the difficulty of being inspected by our coaches, shrinks and sponsors, on admitting our need for help.

Get Ready For Rubble…

Just as the plaster and ornate facades are stripped off the cracked walls and ceilings revealing the brick and dry wall posts beneath, so goes the way of our ego, grandiosity and character flaws into the dumpster!

As many of you know, it’s not pretty…There’s rubble, dirt and muddy puddles everywhere we step and a very high risk of debris falling from above.

Hard Hat Area… Look Up!

This is what I term the Hard Hat Area of self-improvement!
It’s important to forewarn your loved ones and ‘suitors’ that you are likely not to be at your best during reconstruction, since your focus will tend to be self-absorbed and riddled with guilt, shame and introspection.

This is not meant to serve as an excuse to be a lousy spouse or irresponsible, rather a reality check of the unnatural and often messy process of personal
transformation.

Just as the foundation and walls of the buildings felled by the earthquake were strengthened and rebuilt with sturdier structure, so will you learn resilience to the pressures of personal responsibility and continuous relationship tremors!

In the coaching world, reconstruction and reinvention are part and parcel of the work. It should be fast, poignant and empowering. Let’s face it, no one wants to live without a roof for too long. Just make sure your “contractor” is
skilled and has a blueprint for change that matches your vision.

Work In Progress…

Be prepared to be patient and steadfast on your journey of reconstruction.

It’s a little like the Movie Director who excitedly shows his burgeoning new Producer the story boards for his vision of the movie, only to be met with dismay and confusion, as he merely pictures pencil sketches, rather than the visual masterpiece of the eventual finished product.

Remember, the time will soon come when you’ll re-open your heart and your doors to guests and tenants alike,“Under New Management”.

Until then, don your hard hat and look up!

Life – Under Construction! by Jamie Greene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

I recently had an illuminating session with a couple who have strongly opposing views of the world. Or so it seemed…

The question of the meaning of life comes up at least 3 times a day in my coaching work with clients these days. Maybe it’s the current spate of natural disasters and global tragedies and seeming randomness and injustice of it all, but the question keeps coming - Why?

Far be it for me to be the authority on such matters, but I do believe that part of my role as coach and voice of reason is to help others make sense of the world around them. To that end, the matter of life’s purpose must be readily accessible to all of us, rather than remain a perpetually ambiguous existential dilemma.

One Good Reason
We all need a good reason to leap out of bed in the morning…
A reason to smile,
Someone to serve,
A cause to fight for,
An object for our affection,
A task to strive for,
A purpose to fulfill,
A gift to bring to the world.

So, what is the source of meaning and how does God fit into all of this?
Let’s go back to my couple and their heated debate. Like many of us, they are struggling with a common dispute of the existence of God, a Higher Source behind all creation.

He is an atheist and she is extremely spiritual.
Her argument: Spirituality is not about God or religion.
His stance: There is no God and we are hurtling towards chaos… You get the picture?

In listening to their passionate debate, I realized that she just wanted to feel closer to him and share her ‘embracing’ view of life. Yet, he stood firm so as not to be ‘smothered’ by her religious dogma, rituals and ceremonies. Their challenge… how could they love each other and establish a deeper commitment with such opposing views of reality?

Agnostic Ambivalence
In approaching this tricky impasse, I cut to the core of where they were really struggling as a couple. She felt he was limiting their intimacy with his spiritual resistance. He envied her grounded, peaceful demeanor and grace, while fretting with relentless anxiety over the minutiae of his day-to-day pressures.

It seemed clear to me that this apparent chasm of purpose between them was really not so wide. After all, he acknowledged she was happy and purposeful in her spiritual approach to life, yet he was miserably angst-ridden in his God-less existence! He longed for the joy and zest she exuded and confessed to feeling trapped in his awkward agnostic ambivalence.

My assessment: Like all struggling couples, they both want to feel calm, centered and close; both yearning for joy and limitless revelry. They just want to feel that there is a purpose for their being together and for their love to flow.

It seems he is a spiritual fellow after all! He understood that spirituality is actually inside us. It’s our awareness, presence, and the meaning we bring to every moment. A spiritual atheist… I like that!

Altar Ego
One could assert there is no need for rituals or ceremonies in order to feel joy and passion. Often times, a ritual is a daily discipline to practice self-control, containment or compassion. It has its purpose in our lives to keep us focused and on track.

We could look at a workout at the gym as a ritual to build stamina, increase muscle mass and decrease body fat. The treadmill as our altar, the gym our Temple and the members, our congregation. We no more ‘worship’ the treadmill through ritualistic cardio-training than sitting quietly meditating to clear our minds in a quiet patio.

The assertion that these practices make us strangely religious is of course ludicrous. It’s a little like assuming a ‘couch potato’ an agnostic!

Our Essential Task
The need for meaning and purpose, therefore, exists in all of us and manifests uniquely. Our essential task is to find our gift. But, without meaning and direction, the expression of one’s gift is stifled.

It’s a bit like having a talent that you never get to express. Does it really even exist if there is no one to share it with? We’ve been given gifted talents for the sole purpose of their expression.

If you write, express it with purpose; if you sing, belt it from the roof tops; if you’re an athlete, knock it out of the park and if your gift is to connect with people, then give them all you’ve got!

It has been said that true power is the gift of being fully present.
Now that’s a cause worth fighting for!

God And A Treadmill by Jamie Greene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Living in Los Angeles certainly has its rewards. Just witnessing the weather across North America for the past three months has reinforced my appreciation of Southern California and all its glories. None more so than how we are spoiled for choice when it comes to nature. The hiking trails, canyons, lakes, ocean breeze-cooled beaches and Mulholland Drive vistas are a few of my favorite things.

Finding Your Place
It’s one of the more common presenting issues that many of my clients are facing today; What do I want and where can I find it/him/her? You might be struck by the question yourself as you read this now. Even if you’re happily ensconced in a healthy relationship, there is often that nagging question of what really makes us happy, complete and fulfilled in a way that gets us leaping out of bed in the morning.

Sounds of Silence
What I have found to be true for many of us is that we are just too busy to slow down and connect. Connect to those haunting questions of meaning and purpose, connect to our yearning, our fears and insecurities, our anxiety, our anger, our passion. But most of all, we often avoid connecting to the Universe!

There, I said it. We have abandoned our Higher Selves, avoided the guidance we so crave from within and diminished that inner Voice that quietly whispers inside us.

Voice of Reason
I often refer to my role with my clients as a ‘reality check’ or Voice of Reason, all the while serving merely as a guide to redirect them to their own! Gone are the days when I would be concerned about giving advice or directing a client with an important decision. I do it all the time. My clients request it, they demand it from me and they trust me to tell them the truth. But what I offer them is the way to discover it for themselves. I invite them to find their place.

Wherever you go, there you are!
I first found my place in the meandering trails of  the Santa Monica Mountains. More excursions led me to the sacred discoveries of Franklin Canyon Lake and the Hollywood Reservoir. For others, it’s a quiet spot on El Matador Beach or a meditative drive along Angeles Crest Highway or hugging the spectacular contours of PCH all the way to Big Sur.

What does it sound like and what am I listening for?
Essentially, dropping in to a quiet space allows us a few moments of solace, stillness and clarity. If you’ve ever meditated you know what I’m taking about. Not easy… We might become restless, bored, antsy or agitated. Even a reprieve from our handhelds can cause us to break sweat!

Chamber of Wisdom
What I’m suggesting starts off for many of us as a self-discipline to switch off the constant bombardment of distracting thoughts. Allow a few sacred moments to go inside a “Chamber of Wisdom” that exists in each of us. There you will find a lock with a combination code uniquely designed for each of us.

The way to decipher the code that unlocks the treasure chest of answers is to ask questions. Then, simply listen…

No Stupid Questions!
I’ve often heard that there are no stupid questions. The blockage is in not receiving the answers. This might well be one of the primary challenges on your quest for truth. Approach every deep yearning question as if you are looking in a ‘Divine’ mirror. An answer from within is merely reflected back, it has no agenda of its own.

Location, location, location.
No matter where you are, from the tropical climes of the South to the lush pastures of the Mid-West or harsh snow-swept streets of Manhattan, take the time to find a quiet spot to tune in and connect. It sounds so simple and obvious but it’s amazing how much resistance we have to going inside for the answers. It’s far easier to ask for advice, seek counsel or create gurus. The irony is that whomever that sage is you go to for advice, they likely found their answers by going inside and trusting the wisdom they received.

Now go discover for yourself… Create a date with the Universe!

A Date With The Universe by Jamie Greene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

All it takes is a momentary vision for entire new frontiers to unfold before us. An instant captured, a glimpse.

This is all available. It has been for millennia. But you cannot go it alone. You must be invited, courted, guided.

I found such a guide and in the coming weeks, I will share my journeys with you.

There are days when all we see is what we know. Trapped in one-dimensional thinking, we cannot reach beyond our stretch, nor feel beneath our sensory cave. On these days, I ask for more.

This is what I heard…

A journey is a glimpse into what could be. The “work” is experiencing the reality where we can actually live it.

These are the poignant words of wisdom I recently received in guidance, as I diligently forged ahead through the Amazon of my over-intellectualized mind. How refreshing to know that there is another way to see, another way to think and another way to be. But, we can only get there through image-making.

It’s probably why we are all so obsessed with movies that make us cry, scream and leap out of our seats. The images on the screen give us hope and excitement and carry us far from the mundane confines of the cineplex walls.

I want to travel. I want to see vistas with no fees, reservations or placards. No backpack. No duffel or carry-on.

Just a pathway and a clearing and an open ticket to journey. Like the wardrobe in Narnia, I want to step through a portal into a world where the natives aren’t restless, the weather is temperate and the vines guide and twist their arms in embrace.

The first lesson brought a simple message that touched a nerve buried inside me… a deep need to belong.

We are all driven by a need for belonging. It’s only when we step outside the group that we begin to recognize the well traveled path of a soul searcher.

Remember, this is the purpose of this web site: For me to serve as a personal guide for those of you whose previous pathways have led you to dead ends and dismay.

The journey is the reward. We will walk it together. I welcome your comments and questions.

Pack ‘em up, move ‘em out…

A Glimpse by Jamie Greene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

When editing the movie of your life, it’s much more costly to ‘fix it in post’… Take the time to go through the tedium of getting the right shot up front.

So many of us tend to seek help after the fact. We dispatch emergency teams within moments to put out fires, although it takes months to build fire roads and install sprinkler systems. We marvel that the wedding party seemed to last 5 minutes, yet the planning was the most stressful 6 months imaginable. It took years to build the twin towers and we all watched in horror as they fell to ground zero in seconds.

And so it is with life…

There is an inherent tediousness in acquiring experience, seniority, mastery, graduate degrees, internships and apprenticeships. It takes so much of our time, investment, college funds, student loans, sleepless Red Bull nights, manic episodes and tears of frustration. The failed tests, haunting grades, fluctuating GPA’s, dropped classes, psychotic room mates, lecherous professors, unstable supervisors and evil-eyed co-workers.

Paying Our Dues.

I was meeting with one of my more eclectic clients over breakfast as he expressed his ambitious plans for the coming year. I couldn’t help but feel we were caught in one of those surreal movie moments where he’s pitching me the story of his vision for his next movie, “My Aspiring Life” and all I kept wondering was who was going to play the part of the screenwriter who has no script, nor crew or locations, no supporting cast, not even a budding extra jumping up and down in the crowd shot looking to earn his SAG card!

All he came with was a hugely exuberant pitch, a massive budget and grand ideas for distribution. So, naturally my Voice of Reason kicked in… But, how are you going to manage achieving these lofty goals for your company with no game plan or structure in place for you to succeed this year?

“Oh don’t worry about that” he said, “I’m so excited about my ideas and I know I can get my investors to sign off this time. They really believe in me and trust my wisdom.” Well, let’s say they certainly invested in him that year, to the tune of $200,000 gone awry within 4 months of his spirited pitch. And his script was never turned in, nor a casting session ever held. Quite tragic.

For my illustrious client and for many of you reading this, you might relate to these kinds of impulsive schemes to just get things going and worry about the particulars later.

We have an abhorrence to the tedium of planning, preparing and plotting in advance of our exciting big plans. Who wants to sit for hours creating budgets and flow-charts or practicing backhand strokes with a ball-hopper when there’s endorphins and the promise of profits, trophies and acclaim beckoning.

Indeed, banal attempts to fix those reality-crushing complications as they unfold are fraught with tail-chasing circuitry and adrenal-draining deflation.

We just may simply lack the discipline and patience that is often necessary to achieve mastery and success. I have noticed like with virtually every one of my clients and students over the years that none of us enjoy being a novice. We want to be masterful. We want to be the expert witness, not serve mandatory jury duty. We want to be an old soul, not a newbie who’s never been around the block. We want tenure, not hazing; respect, not empathy; honor, not momentary attention.

Are we there yet?

Unfortunately, there’s just no substitute for hard work, due diligence and a little ‘elbow grease’ as my dad would say. We learn in time that a penny saved is a dollar earned. It won’t get you rich quick but it will build a nice modest nest egg.

So take the time to get all your ducks in a row and earn your restful sleep, knowing that the taxes are accounted for, the budget has been met, the kids’ lunch box is filled and the cable bill has been paid.

CUT… PRINT!

The Money Shot by Jamie Greene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.